Pasta with Homemade Arrabbiata Sauce

And so there I am on the train back to Jersey after a long day. Flickering overhead lights. Dingy fabric seats. A disconnect. I am clutching at my too-heavy laptop bag and practicing my yoga breathing.

This breathing, this mindful control of my body and lungs, is supposed to help me calm down. Which I really need right now, because I’m recalling an earlier phone conversation with some asshole, while trying not to think about the stack of unfinished paperwork on my desk at home, and the lady in front of me is ignoring her screaming kid and my back won’t stop aching and and and and…inhale…exhale…in through the nose…out through the mouth. Breathing. Existing.

Some days, a girl just needs to get a little angry. I’m not talking about that quiet muttering you do at traffic lights, or perhaps the few choice words you let slip when your grocery bag breaks and drops everything all over the damn sidewalk while you fumble with the keys.

I mean, sometimes you just need to let it all out. As composed as one may be throughout the day, frustrations inevitably rise to the surface. That’s when I turn to cooking as therapy.

When I truly need to escape, I turn to recipes that take a while. Meals that command patience. In preparing such a meal, I’ve got to slow down the cadence of my kitchen, breathe deep in the aromas, stir slowly.

This slow-cooked homemade pasta sauce was a perfect fit this week. Arrabbiata is a tomato based sauce, simmered with hot chili, garlic and herbs. The word arrabbiata actually means “angry” in Italian. Angry sauce. Rawr, baby.

Let me at it! Clank down that saucepan, splash some olive oil in. Turn it up to a high flame, because you can take it. Make those onions sizzle and cry. Think about everything that’s stressing you out this week, then bit your spoon down upon whole tomatoes. Squish. Tear fresh herbs apart with your fingers. Decimate those puny little chili peppers, the ones with hidden heat. Chop to little bits and throw them, seeds and all, in the mix. Stir. Take that!

Now breathe. Tip in a little of your favorite red wine. Bring it down to a simmer. Breathe. Stir. Allow everything to come together. Your therapist would use words like coalesce or harmonize, but you just want to let the flavors develop.

Find the perfect spoon – one of the spoons you only pull out for company. You deserve it! Dip in and have a taste. Close your eyes and enjoy the sweetness from the wine, followed by one holy kick in the pants from all those chili seeds.

Its depth is what separates arrabbiata from just typical tomato sauce. It’s funny, because with one spoonful of this thick, flavorful (and psst, vegan) sauce, my concerns just melted away.

Just what I needed.

Makes enough to coat four servings of pasta

Ingredients:

28 ounces canned whole tomatoes (San Marzano variety if you can)

6 ounces tomato paste

2 gloves garlic, smashed

1 small yellow onion, finely diced

handful each fresh basil and parsley

1/2 glass cabernet sauvignon

2 finely chopped dried red chili peppers OR 1 tbsp red pepper flakes (use less if you want it less spicy)

olive oil

Directions:

In a large saucepan, heat a good glug of olive oil. Heat garlic for a minute or two, then add onions. Sweat onions for five minutes, until tender and beginning to color. Finely chop parsley and basil and add to the pot, leaving some left over for garnish. Stir over medium heat until fragrant and soft.

Empty tomatoes and tomato paste into the pot. Raise heat and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook for eight to 10 minutes. Smash tomatoes with your spoon. Stir in chopped chili pepper and glass of wine. Stir and cook for another 10 minutes until the tomatoes are broken down. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Serve over pasta and garnish with a sprinkle of basil and parsley.

*If you’ve accidentally made it too spicy, you can adjust by adding a pinch of brown sugar and baking soda to tone it down.